ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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