Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
