I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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