Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
