happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it because I queefed?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
