Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
