new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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