why didn't you poke me back
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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