so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
