Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
