Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There r osticjed everywhere
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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