hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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