they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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