i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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