I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
