don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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