Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
