We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
