hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
