gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize