I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
