He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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