Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i barfeds in our rink
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
