i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
