We named our party play list daddy issues
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
