She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
