I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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