He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
