Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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