Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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