Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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