I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
