I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
