So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
