so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
