Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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