xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
