The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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