Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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