so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
