maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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