Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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