Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
