then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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