Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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