I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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