I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
