if you like me you must not know who I am
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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