And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
