We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
